puzzled1 asked:


We got married on April 5th 2008 and have been struggling financially since July. First it was us together spending money using credit cards. Those quickly got maxed out. I had provided my wife with a Chevron credit card which she maxed out within a two week time frame and nothing to show for it. I then made a decision to borrow money from banks to get ahead on some of the bills and pay off the credit cards. Which I should have chosen to pay off Bank loans instead. Because the credit cards where maxed out again in shorter time and over the limit worse than before. My wife began to borrow from online payday companies and in most cases using my social security number. Which results in the worse scenarios possible. My credit score was exceptional now we are not able to pay any of the loans credit cards or payday loans. My credit score is dropping faster then Equifax can compute. We were able to address short term bills, but once all the bills were somewhat caught up. We began getting bank overdrafts, we are now on a weekly basis overdrawing the account due to her writing check for things we so called need. For every over draft no matter how small we are charged 25$ and mostly from checks that she wrote knowing that we dont have the money in the bank. Which can add at an alarming rate when the bounced checks are reprocessed again after they failed the first time. So any one check can be a 50$ charge not including the fees by the receipent of the check. We have argued countless times about this to the point of her making physical contact with me and me threating to end our relationship. Yet 2 weeks later it reoccurs again to the point that I dont say anything because I dont want to deal with the arguing. She has admitted to me that she has a problem with spending money. We are to the point to where we are struggling just to pay for bare neccessities. Utilities, Gas transport. Bank Loan, Car Loan, Insurance, Child care, Rent, We dont make enough to keep these bills up. I am to the point to where it would be better for us to end the relationship move back to our parents and get our lives back in order. She is completely torn and does not want this to happen. I would like for us to be happy and live comfortably. But i dont know what the next step is when she has this problem thats going to continue to keep us from progressing in this financial struggle. What should i do force the relationship to end or enforce some type of restrictions? Some one please help!
Thank you all for such quick and great responses so very helpful. As for a seperate checking account or living on cash alone great options. We both work she gets a check. My job requires direct deposit so i have to have an account. We have a joint account currently and had to close one account previously due to the payday loan companies taking out twice as much than is owed. She has also opened up another account, in her own name at another bank. She has been going to the payday loan websites again and almost certain she is using my social security number to get the payday loans deposited. That arent gonna be paid back. She promises she has not done this yet but is there anyway i can prevent my information from being used without causing her to be charged with identity theft.
These are our bills a month
350 child support for my other children
340 child care for her child
320 gas transport to our jobs
240 or more for food and house items
250 rent
262 carloan
167 bank loan
50 heating gas bill
67 Cable TV/internet
153 Bank loan for paid billz
125 cellphone for us to keep in contact for emergencies
137 insurance
125 light bills
I make 670$ every two weeks
she makes 580 every two weeks
I had suggested she pay the 340 child care for her child, 320 gas transport to our jobs, 240 or more for food and house items - But i am stuck with the rest and its just not possible on our income.

Celia

puzzled1 asked:


We got married on April 5th 2008 and have been struggling financially since July. First it was us together spending money using credit cards. Those quickly got maxed out. I had provided my wife with a Chevron credit card which she maxed out within a two week time frame and nothing to show for it. I then made a decision to borrow money from banks to get ahead on some of the bills and pay off the credit cards. Which I should have chosen to pay off Bank loans instead. Because the credit cards where maxed out again in shorter time and over the limit worse than before. My wife began to borrow from online payday companies and in most cases using my social security number. Which results in the worse scenarios possible. My credit score was exceptional now we are not able to pay any of the loans credit cards or payday loans. My credit score is dropping faster then Equifax can compute. We were able to address short term bills, but once all the bills were somewhat caught up. We began getting bank overdrafts, we are now on a weekly basis overdrawing the account due to her writing check for things we so called need. For every over draft no matter how small we are charged 25$ and mostly from checks that she wrote knowing that we dont have the money in the bank. Which can add at an alarming rate when the bounced checks are reprocessed again after they failed the first time. So any one check can be a 50$ charge not including the fees by the receipent of the check. We have argued countless times about this to the point of her making physical contact with me and me threating to end our relationship. Yet 2 weeks later it reoccurs again to the point that I dont say anything because I dont want to deal with the arguing. She has admitted to me that she has a problem with spending money. We are to the point to where we are struggling just to pay for bare neccessities. Utilities, Gas transport. Bank Loan, Car Loan, Insurance, Child care, Rent, We dont make enough to keep these bills up. I am to the point to where it would be better for us to end the relationship move back to our parents and get our lives back in order. She is completely torn and does not want this to happen. I would like for us to be happy and live comfortably. But i dont know what the next step is when she has this problem thats going to continue to keep us from progressing in this financial struggle. What should i do force the relationship to end or enforce some type of restrictions?
As for a seperate checking account or living on cash alone great options. We both work she gets a check. My job requires direct deposit so i have to have an account. We have a joint account currently and had to close one account previously due to the payday loan companies taking out twice as much than is owed. She has also opened up another account, in her own name at another bank. She has been going to the payday loan websites again and almost certain she is using my social security number to get the payday loans deposited. That arent gonna be paid back. She promises she has not done this yet but is there anyway i can prevent my information from being used without causing her to be charged with identity theft?

These are our bills a month
350 child support for my other children
340 child care for her child
320 gas transport to our jobs
240 or more for food and house items
250 rent
262 carloan
167 bank loan
50 heating gas bill
67 Cable TV/internet
153 Bank loan for paid billz
125 cellphone for us to keep in contact for emergencies
137 insurance
125 light bills
I make 670$ every two weeks
she makes 580 every two weeks
I had suggested she pay the 340 child care for her child, 320 gas transport to our jobs, 240 or more for food and house items - But i am stuck with the rest and its just not possible on our income.

Juliette

amanda d asked:


My hubby gets aggrivated with me bc he says i act like his mother. At first i thought he was joking because i am 6 years older than he is..but now i know he is serious. He is mad at me because i took his debit card and money away. Now he just gets a certain amount of money daily no more and no less 10.00 daily. I did this becuase for 4 months now really longer he has had us so far in the whole because spends more then he makes and at all places gas stations my car take 30 bucks to fill it up and he spent in 2 1/2 days 400.52 at gas stations can u believe, at least that is what he says. but he has nothing to show for it. I pay for all the bills in the house car note insurance rent you name it i pay for it i was tired of being 782 dollars negative in the bank 400 dollars negative in the bank and on and on..then i found out he had taken out 6 online payday loans with out me knowing that he still hasnt paid now they are threatning to sue. I dont know that is just one of the examples.

Homer