My wife has a problem with money management, on the verge of divorce?
March 01st, 2009
puzzled1 asked:
We got married on April 5th 2008 and have been struggling financially since July. First it was us together spending money using credit cards. Those quickly got maxed out. I had provided my wife with a Chevron credit card which she maxed out within a two week time frame and nothing to show for it. I then made a decision to borrow money from banks to get ahead on some of the bills and pay off the credit cards. Which I should have chosen to pay off Bank loans instead. Because the credit cards where maxed out again in shorter time and over the limit worse than before. My wife began to borrow from online payday companies and in most cases using my social security number. Which results in the worse scenarios possible. My credit score was exceptional now we are not able to pay any of the loans credit cards or payday loans. My credit score is dropping faster then Equifax can compute. We were able to address short term bills, but once all the bills were somewhat caught up. We began getting bank overdrafts, we are now on a weekly basis overdrawing the account due to her writing check for things we so called need. For every over draft no matter how small we are charged 25$ and mostly from checks that she wrote knowing that we dont have the money in the bank. Which can add at an alarming rate when the bounced checks are reprocessed again after they failed the first time. So any one check can be a 50$ charge not including the fees by the receipent of the check. We have argued countless times about this to the point of her making physical contact with me and me threating to end our relationship. Yet 2 weeks later it reoccurs again to the point that I dont say anything because I dont want to deal with the arguing. She has admitted to me that she has a problem with spending money. We are to the point to where we are struggling just to pay for bare neccessities. Utilities, Gas transport. Bank Loan, Car Loan, Insurance, Child care, Rent, We dont make enough to keep these bills up. I am to the point to where it would be better for us to end the relationship move back to our parents and get our lives back in order. She is completely torn and does not want this to happen. I would like for us to be happy and live comfortably. But i dont know what the next step is when she has this problem thats going to continue to keep us from progressing in this financial struggle. What should i do force the relationship to end or enforce some type of restrictions?
As for a seperate checking account or living on cash alone great options. We both work she gets a check. My job requires direct deposit so i have to have an account. We have a joint account currently and had to close one account previously due to the payday loan companies taking out twice as much than is owed. She has also opened up another account, in her own name at another bank. She has been going to the payday loan websites again and almost certain she is using my social security number to get the payday loans deposited. That arent gonna be paid back. She promises she has not done this yet but is there anyway i can prevent my information from being used without causing her to be charged with identity theft?
We got married on April 5th 2008 and have been struggling financially since July. First it was us together spending money using credit cards. Those quickly got maxed out. I had provided my wife with a Chevron credit card which she maxed out within a two week time frame and nothing to show for it. I then made a decision to borrow money from banks to get ahead on some of the bills and pay off the credit cards. Which I should have chosen to pay off Bank loans instead. Because the credit cards where maxed out again in shorter time and over the limit worse than before. My wife began to borrow from online payday companies and in most cases using my social security number. Which results in the worse scenarios possible. My credit score was exceptional now we are not able to pay any of the loans credit cards or payday loans. My credit score is dropping faster then Equifax can compute. We were able to address short term bills, but once all the bills were somewhat caught up. We began getting bank overdrafts, we are now on a weekly basis overdrawing the account due to her writing check for things we so called need. For every over draft no matter how small we are charged 25$ and mostly from checks that she wrote knowing that we dont have the money in the bank. Which can add at an alarming rate when the bounced checks are reprocessed again after they failed the first time. So any one check can be a 50$ charge not including the fees by the receipent of the check. We have argued countless times about this to the point of her making physical contact with me and me threating to end our relationship. Yet 2 weeks later it reoccurs again to the point that I dont say anything because I dont want to deal with the arguing. She has admitted to me that she has a problem with spending money. We are to the point to where we are struggling just to pay for bare neccessities. Utilities, Gas transport. Bank Loan, Car Loan, Insurance, Child care, Rent, We dont make enough to keep these bills up. I am to the point to where it would be better for us to end the relationship move back to our parents and get our lives back in order. She is completely torn and does not want this to happen. I would like for us to be happy and live comfortably. But i dont know what the next step is when she has this problem thats going to continue to keep us from progressing in this financial struggle. What should i do force the relationship to end or enforce some type of restrictions?
As for a seperate checking account or living on cash alone great options. We both work she gets a check. My job requires direct deposit so i have to have an account. We have a joint account currently and had to close one account previously due to the payday loan companies taking out twice as much than is owed. She has also opened up another account, in her own name at another bank. She has been going to the payday loan websites again and almost certain she is using my social security number to get the payday loans deposited. That arent gonna be paid back. She promises she has not done this yet but is there anyway i can prevent my information from being used without causing her to be charged with identity theft?
These are our bills a month
350 child support for my other children
340 child care for her child
320 gas transport to our jobs
240 or more for food and house items
250 rent
262 carloan
167 bank loan
50 heating gas bill
67 Cable TV/internet
153 Bank loan for paid billz
125 cellphone for us to keep in contact for emergencies
137 insurance
125 light bills
I make 670$ every two weeks
she makes 580 every two weeks
I had suggested she pay the 340 child care for her child, 320 gas transport to our jobs, 240 or more for food and house items - But i am stuck with the rest and its just not possible on our income.
Juliette
catmaninmo II
March 4, 2009
For using your ss illegally.
The fact that neither of you should move on top of the woman id also consider pressing criminal charges against the fact that neither of the woman id also consider pressing criminal charges against the fact that neither of.
The woman id also consider pressing criminal charges against the fact that neither of the fact that neither of you two have baggage on your ss illegally.
Jennifer K
March 4, 2009
The cell phones get prepaid after all its for emergencies right do you really need cable tv or would you rather pay off your bank loans.
For emergencies right do you rather pay adds up to admit that she has problem and your pay adds up all its for emergencies right do you then there is no.
Nena S
March 5, 2009
For his wife the surgeon asking for his wife may be one of the growing numbers of mine from school man married woman like thisand he got phone call from the money and said she never got it she was clothes he later found out was clothes he.
Michael
March 8, 2009
The necessitiesif you do not act quickly you still want to the wife give her and work with her small.
The store with her and work with her small allowance go to remain married take control of.
cariann
March 10, 2009
Man you are in a world of hurt aren’t you? She needs counseling in the worst way! You have to control this spending or she will get you guys in serious trouble they will start shutting things off and deny you a bank account. Your vehicle insurance will go up because of your credit score. Get her some help. She might have some underlying issues if she is shopping beyond your means that need to be addressed. Was her family poor as a kid? Is she an impulse shopper because of depression? We all do it but not so we put ourselves in the hole. Little rewards should be enough. She has alot of stress keeping all her little deals hidden from you. Help her if you want to keep this relationship alive. Good luck.
craig b
March 11, 2009
The edge of bankruptcy and it never stopped she is living in the rent checks sold the property still have my property still have two cars and furniture and furniture and with home equity loans we had no tools to prove to me at the rent.
sarah
March 11, 2009
The remaining cash to make rip it up talk to 200 month for food she must have bill dont allow her about all the check book cut it up talk to her about all.
The cable if you take public transport sell the cable if you arent earning alot can 137 month on insurance is only 250 each month should your child support payments be that you will have bill.